Thursday, November 22, 2012

I'm Thankful That I Have Nothing Better To Do Than Blog This Morning

It's Thanksgiving, and there's a possibly-joking weight gain contest running between me and my brother later today.

In the meantime, remember when I did that hilarious (to me) shampoo review?  Yeah, they paid me for that.  And I said I would make it worth your while.

So, here's the deal.

They gave me $50.

I'm going to give two of you $25 (in the form of Amazon gift cards, so I don't have to mail anything).  This is not sponsored.  This is me taking money I got for promoting something and passing it on to you, since you had to tolerate that.  Because there's no way I will ever make a living blogging, and that's not why I do it, so...I logiced this out at some point.

You don't care.  You just want to know how to win, right?

Everyone is doing something today.  Even if you're sitting at work with your thumb up your ass, that's something.

Today I am with my family.  My hilarious, wonderful family.  Last night my kid brother and I made fun of our grandma until we laughed so hard we were doubled over with laughter. Don't worry, she's dead, and was kind of a terrible person.  It's not like we were making fun of her to her face.  Mostly, we were comparing her to the bunny suit giving aunt on A Christmas Story, and remembering the Yarn Animal Sweat Suit, among other things.

Anyway, I am having a fantastic time.  The only reason I'm sitting here writing a stupid blog post is because I'm up before most other people, so I have dicking around time.

Again, you don't care.  You just want to know what hoops you have to jump through to win.

Just one:  Tell me what you're doing today.

One entry per person.  No bonus crap for shilling this to your friends, who probably don't care.  I don't want "new readers" who only show up for the contest.  This is to reward the people who tolerate my bullshit by passing on crap I get.  That's all.  Winners will be picked at random.

You have until Sunday at midnight California time.  "Today" is subjective.  I'd love to hear funny stories or sad stories or rants about how awful your family is, or how hilarious your uncle-in-law is.  But it's not required.  You should probably spend your time doing your thing, not commenting on stuff on the internet.

So, yeah.

Oh, um, leave a way for me to contact you if your comment doesn't automatically link to your email or blog or whatever, only because you'll probably want to know if you win.

I was the only sober one at the winery yesterday, and I still managed to look like this in a picture.


  1. I'm lying in bed sick while everyone else is at my mother-in-law's for the holiday. Yea Thanksgiving.

  2. I guess I need to go back and read this infamous shampoo review :0

    This morning Jim and I ran a Turkey Day 5K. I set a new PR!! Awesomeness. Then we got interviewed by the local news. So it's been a memorable day so far.

    Right now I'm just snuggling in the bed with my dog and soon I will be getting ready for a delicious a restaurant, no cooking involved.

    Perfect day :)

  3. Cleaning the house then biking over to wife's aunt's house ahead of the family for mountains of food.

  4. I'm watching 9 hours of football. I love America.

  5. I totally don't remember this shampoo review. It must have been very memorable! I'm watching my guy make homemade bread and then driving to Napa to gain a half a pound.

  6. I avoided going to the Thanksgiving Day parade by offering to make brunch for my immediate family. In about 25 minutes I'll be driving 45 minutes to eat food prepared by my aunt and a grocery store and see extended family I haven't seen in close to 7 years.

  7. Well I picked up my oldest from her first sleep over with her cousins. She asked me to sing Soft Kitty to her when we got home. Now I am playing Autism Charades with the little one because I have no idea what movie she wants to watch and I've already played 3 and she keeps handing me the remote and saying no, change. lol.

  8. I'm sitting around, waiting to go out to a fancy restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner.

  9. I'll probably try to go find your shampoo review and read it.

  10. Firstly, kudos to you on the no sell out.

    Secondly, I went to my first even thanksgiving! Im from the UK and we dont celebrate it but a few of my friends threw one here.

    Theyre all vegetarians so it was veggie but it turns out nut roast is really nice. I only had to say a few soppy things about thankfulness (sincere things too) before they let me eat ALL the things. I dont really get the sugar/sweet potato/marshmallow thing mind... Weirdddd stuff.

  11. I ran a Turkey Trot 8k, spent time with family and had yummy Thanksgiving food.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  12. You reviewed shampoo? Classic. I am eating my second round of Thanksgiving dinner, the bottle of wine I drank gave me the munchies. Then, bed seems likely.

  13. I watched the dog show, did a shitload of cooking, and hung out with my boyfriend and dog. It was fantastic. No dysfunctional family or judgment, just food and lounging.

  14. I took public transport to my husband's cousin's house. The people riding the subway on Thanksgiving was worth the trip. Now I am doubling over in pain from stuffing my face

  15. 1. I got woken up when The H's alarm went off at 5am to buy some sale item on amazon.

    2. When I woke up for real, we went for an easy 10k around our neighborhood.

    3. I didn't shower, and then made A LOT of food, including a pumpkin chai cake with browned butter glaze, and it was fucking delicious.

    4. Then, I brought all of the food to my Russian friends house for her first American thanksgiving. She's been in the states for 10 years, and never had a proper thanksgiving. What?!

    5. She was the first friend I made when I moved to ca, and we both have no family around, so we tend to do holidays together.

    6. She is super super pregnant. And is in the process of trying to potty train her 16 month old. It's hilarious, unless you're her. Or her husband.

    7. Now, I'm home watching alias on Netflix, while my crack head husband is braving target and Macy's at the mall.

    Happy thanksgiving. I'm glad to know you.

  16. I am laying in bed thankful that I am no where near a mall or box store right now. Those people are crazy. I'd rather pay more. Or win a gift card from a blogger.

  17. Spent the morning trying to drag my family through a 5K, and the afternoon cooking and eye-rolling at my in-laws. Not my favorite.

  18. I quite enjoyed your shampoo review personally. Being a sell-out is American, and there's no shame. I'm willing to sell myself out here in your comments for $25 though, for sure.

    I'm on the couch in my pj's. I've been up for over three hours but have yet to do anything even remotely productive. Actually that's not quite true, but anything I do in my pj's doesn't feel productive even if it is. Best part of the morning so far was eating leftover dressing, which was way better today than yesterday. I don't know why that is, but there's lots left so I'm happy about it.

  19. Except Monday, I took the week off of work (use it or lose it PTO for the win!). I've spent the time tossing my little postage stamp sized condo. I finally decided, ~3 years after my kids moved out, Momma is moving upstairs out of the basement and into a real bedroom. This somehow required I clean carpets and rearrange every room in my house. I've got the bedroom, living room, dining area and utility room done. I'm still working on the basement guest room slash art room and the upstairs workout room.

    I took time out from that to copy over every Beach Body video available with my sister, and to stuff my face with enough food to feed a normal person for a week. This was at my sister's annual Thanksgiving blowout, visiting with family including 2 sisters in from Florida and watching Punkin Chunkin on the History Channel. Epic, as usual.

  20. It's our first thanksgiving in CA and we know no one, so we spent it at the Hometown Buffet and lounging in the pool

  21. I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time ever. (It was also the first time my brother and I celebrated without the parentals around...weird.) Our house is really too small to fit more than 2 people in it, but we had 7 people, 2 dogs, and a VERY unhappy cat crammed in there. Oh, and a turkey who thought he could just take his sweet ass time cooking (USDA says 3.6-4 hours for 12 lbs...took our late bloomer over 7!!)

    The kitchen table ended up being the serving table, and the card table has a huge dip in the middle, making it barely functional for even popcorn. So our Thanksgiving table ended up being 3 people on the couch, 4 in folding chairs, huddled around 4 TV tray tables. It was so classy.

    The rest of the weekend I spent trying to get into a workout routine of some sort, then laying on the floor whining about how much said workout routine HURTS. And suddenly it's Sunday night and I don't want to go to bed because if I go to bed then I have to wake up and go to school tomorrow.

    Oh and I ran a race this weekend, am running one the next two weekends, and just signed up for a 5 race series that ends in a half marathon. Wtf.

  22. I know this comment is technically late, but even if not entered into the contest, I figured you'd get a kick out of my Thanksgivings.

    On actual Thanksgiving, it was rather uneventful. Just my mom, sis and I...the whole family got together on Saturday (more about that in a sec). My mom's birhday (she turned 62) was the next day so my sis and I made her take a shot...a blow job shot (it involves whip cream and taking the shot without your hands). Now, that is some funny shit to watch.

    On my 2nd Thanksgiving, we shoved 34 people into a tiny 3 bedroom, one-floor house. My grandmother, who is bat-shit crazy, had painted her scalp with her watercolor paints because she didn't like that you could see her skin through her thinning hair. So, my family got her drunk, and then dropped her back off at the assisted living home. We're classy like that. :)

  23. Man, had I not been doing the family thing and been reading blogs like I should have, I could have written a novel in here!

    I'm crashing one of your family holidays sometime. I'd love to be a fly on the wall --- or just a person on the couch. Either way.