Not to me, at least.
Most races are measured pretty carefully. A race that's just me, the road, and some satellite feedback? Yeah, I'm not banking my pride on my garmin being accurate. My true PRs only count on a race day.
Which is too bad, since today I ran the Virtual Freeze Your Thorns Off 5k.
(I didn't print out a bib because either I'm a hippie who is trying to save the trees, man, or I'm lazy)
My current PR, from four years ago, is 23:55.
I guess I need to sign up for a real 5k now, eh?
The heart rate info is slaying me. That's (according to Garmin) 117% of my max. So I must be really dead.
Yes. I was pushing myself.
Mile 1: Oh, this is a seven minute mile? This isn't so bad. As long as I keep my breathing under control, I should be able to maintain this. Huh, I can actually feel this in my legs. That's new. I wonder if that's from biking yesterday. Usually my lungs give out first. As long as I keep my breathing focused I'll be fine.
Mile 2: I don't feel my legs anymore, because the breathing is getting hard. It feels like I'm going slower. Oh, shit, I am going slower. Am I capable of going faster? Push it, push it. Man, this is tough. How far do I have left to go? Oh shit. Will I be able to keep this up for another mile?
Mile 3: Can I blame my speed on the wind? Fuck, the wind isn't hard enough. This is me being slow. Move faster legs. Shit, I need to breathe. Focus on your breathing. In, in, out, out. Oh fuck I need air GASP GASP WHEEZE GASP GASP AIR SWEET JESUS AIR no, shit, no, get your breathing under control you can DO this. In, in, out, out Fuck I just want to stop and walk what if I stop now what if I pause my Garmin and take a break how the fuck do I still have half a mile left, in, in, out, out, anyone can run half a mile, the faster you finish the sooner you're done suck it up mother fucker why am I so slow am I go to pass out? Push push push push.
Mile 3-3.1: Point zero one, point zero two why is this going so slow jesus fuck point zero three am I go to die if I go faster? point zero four kdfghdfklhgdflkhgdlfh point zero five stop looking at your watch run run run run so close run run run point zero seven what the fuck why aren't I don't yet point zero eight RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN point one STOP YES FUCK GASP WHEEZE HEADRUSH DONE
So, that is why my average heart rate was 198. That's how I hit 209bpm.
I still have almost a half mile to go before I was back to my car. I spent the whole walk muttering things like "fuck, shit, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, uggggggg." And then I sat in my car and tried to calm down.
Already I was upset about my third mile. Did I go out too fast? Maybe I should have had breakfast. Maybe I should have taken a day off after kicking my own ass on the bike yesterday. But, these are excuses. And what I am excusing? I pushed myself HARD. I'm not sure I could have gone much faster. But I could have gone a little bit faster. If I'd kept my breathing under control I could have gone faster.
I need to cut myself some slack. Because this is a good time. And I am proud of it. This is the first time I've tried to run a hard 5k, honestly, probably since my PR 4 years ago. My 5ks in between have all been cheerleading other people or just dicking around.
Pushing myself is hard. I didn't do it for a long time. Because it was easier to keep doing what I was doing.
So, this is a new world to me. I have a lot to learn.
My legs are tired. My hips twinge a little bit when I use them. But I feel awesome.
I'm trying to eat "clean" this week (basically, whole foods. Vegetables, fruits, and meat). I want to keep it totally clean for another week. Mostly just to see how lean I can get. For science. And then I'll find some happy medium between eating well and eating like shit. Balance is good.
For example, tonight my husband wanted the equivalent of a middle eastern burrito (shwarma in laffa). I wanted grilled chicken and fruit. So, we went to the laffa joint, and I ducked in next door to the grocery about bought chicken, lettuce, mango, strawberries, cherry tomatoes, and cherries. I grilled up the chicken with some squash, roasted the tomatoes in the oven with olive oil and salt and made lettuce chicken wraps with salsa. Delicious. I'm about to go eat my weight in strawberries and mangoes now in hopes of upping my vitamin C, because my throat is starting to feel scratchy.