I was rocking out to earth tones.
We talked about:
-Really messed up sex positions (The Angry Pirate, Cleveland Steamer, and a few Sky made up, like the one in the title. Which I will explain, over email, if you're really dying to know.)
-Gym noises versus porn noises. My trainer was yelling at me to "squeeze it harder!" and I ended up lying on a mat laughing.
-The lady giving me stink eye, who was working out in hippie sandals. I'm not sure what I did to earn the stink eye, but sandals lady? Really?
-Is Daniel Tosh gay? My trainer asked. I told him that Tosh, at least recently, had a girlfriend, so while it doesn't exclude him liking men, he, as I put it, loudly, whoops, "stuck his dick in a vagina at least once."
The Workout:
Foam rolled IT band and calves.
Some uber ridiculous warm ups that looked like rejects from the Dance Like The Backstreet Boys dvd.
Football type sprints. So, my trainer had one of those ladder things that would lie on the ground, and I would do overly complicated foot movements through it, then sprint to a cone. Over and over again.
Me: What if I trip?
Trainer: [laughing, shaking his head] You're not going to trip.
Spoiler alert: Of course I tripped. Of course. Thankfully, it was immediately before the sprinting part of the show, so while I had a tiny scrape on my knee, mostly my pride was injured. Another trainer walking by said "if you worked out with me, you'd never fall. I'd always be there to catch you." CHEESE.
3x
15 hamstring curls
20 multiplanner lunges (during which, stink eye)
3x
12 leg presses. I'd like to note that the bad ass built guy next to me was using the same amount of plates, AND his sled weighs less than mine, and I was still kicking his ass. My legs are pretty strong, okay?
That might have been all we did. We spent most of the time on the football stuff. I suck at sprinting. Sometimes I should work on, I guess.
Okay, so I really really love to work out in this particular shirt.
Do you see why?? Do I need to point it out to you??
YEAH!
Almost forgot:
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What's the conversation you've overheard while working out? Sometimes I feel bad for the shit I end up saying out loud. But I love the conversations I have with my trainer. He's so ridiculous.
Do you have favorite workout clothes? Everything I do is sweat-driven, so that's probably not the case with you, which means you should tell me WHY you love specific articles of clothing. And pictures, too! Especially ass pictures.
Usually when I'm working out, people just keep to themselves. But if I head about the Double Blumpkin Upper Decker, you could bet your bippy I'd be over there makin' friends.
ReplyDeleteYou totally cracked me up today with your gym talk. We end up having lots of wild ass conversation while running. It definitely helps pass the time!
ReplyDeleteha ha ha! my old trainer and I used to crack up about all sorts of things. My favorite is when a potential client walked up while we were training and started talking to him. She was like "I want a workout where you just throw me against the wall" - I looked at her and bust out laughing...I said...hmm this isn't that type of place. She turned bright red and said she would talk to him later!
ReplyDeleteI love racerback tank tops for working out. Partly because I hate sleeves, but mostly because they make my shoulders and back look so awesome when I'm doing shoulder presses.
ReplyDeleteI've also been known to run in a bike jersey, because they have pockets on the back. I think all shirts should come equipped with pockets.
Oh Oh I may not be able to stay a follower, apparently I'm completely clueless to quite a few things! I would also have been laughing hysterically at the trainer :-)
ReplyDeletesomehow the conversation of pot always comes out of my mouth at the wrong time. I have no idea why. I don't even smoke pot, that was a long time ago but it's fun to talk about.
ReplyDeleteGym noises vs porn noises...if I heard some of the noises in bed that these idiots make in the gym, I'd be pretty sure they're doing something wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you and your trainer are perfectly suited for each other.
Dammit. My mind went blank. A big dog was brought into work and I had to play with him, so now I forgot my comment. But you know, I feel compelled to comment!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you feel. Except I guess I can.
Daniel Tosh looks like Jeff Lewis on Flipping Out, and he's gay. Not sure that makes Tosh gay, but it is just my statement for today.
Unfortunately always working out in the morning means there aren't many people there (which is unfortunate in this situation) and the people who are there are half asleep or too busy admiring their own muscles to talk to anyone.
ReplyDeleteYour gym's atmosphere sounds ridiculously ludicrously awesome and fun. Envy.
ReplyDeleteNice job getting your sweat on! I am in love with a particular hot pink (yup) Champion racerback tank that looks super hot on me (a little vain?)
ReplyDelete