Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Top Three Racing Strategies posted 3 tips on how to dominate your next race.

At first, I was stoked. I like reading new tips.

But. Um. Then I read them.

Click on the link above to read the full article, if you really want to, but, here are the three tips:

1. Go out fast
2. Keep even splits
3. Go out slow

Are there any other options?

No, seriously. Either you get slower or you get faster or you stay the same?

I guess this is great advice for someone who goes out fast, then slows down, then goes fast again? Or something. I'm confused as to how this is helping anyone, except to say "do what works for you."

Which is what is should be titled. These are not three tips. These are basically the three ways you can run a race.

So, yes, do what works for you.

Oh, hey, I should write an article, too.

Three AMAZING TIPS on How To Start a Race:

1. Start with your right foot forward.
2. Start with your left foot forward.
3. Jump forward with both feet at the same time to surprise the competition!

BOOM. I'm a genius.

Of course, I'm not qualified to give you advice. The last time I seriously tried to compete in a race I almost puked at the end, won my age division, and quit running for a few months. I am the king of non-advice.


What is your best advice for racing strategies?

I think mine is: don't take articles you read online seriously.


  1. Crazy!
    I like your advice of one jump forward with both feet!

    If I HAD to give advice, and the person is a music runner like myself, I'd say to put a slow song on first so that you don't tear out super fast at the start - if you are like me and tend to run in pace with the songs.

    And I'd say that puking at the end isn't as scary as it sounds. And if you can, bring some form of hanky with you to clean up afterward so you can get clean finish line photos taken and not skip them because you have snot hanging from your nostrils and vomit all around your mouth. Not that I speak directly from experience or anything. But seriously - why can't they have little cleaning stations available with some moist towelettes or napkins?? And I mean BEFORE any official photo stops.

  2. hahaaha you win the best blogger award.

  3. You don't train for a marathon. You just run it. Step one: start running. Step two: there is no step two.--Barney Stinson

    -I think they forgot the number one rule of dominating: run fast. Ideally, faster than everyone else. easy!

  4. Bahaha! What a dumb article (totally didn't read it)! I like your tips better anyway!

  5. I usually take everything I read online with a grain a salt. Actually, I do that with everything I hear. Just to be safe. lol.

  6. hahaha! your 3 tips are hilarious.

    My only advice I can offer is to run a big enough race that they have pacers. Then pay the pacer with your goal finish time enough money to not allow you to slip out of their sight...even if that means dragging you along the asphalt.

    My qualifications are that I can put a butterfly band-aid on a cut like nobody's business and I read a lot of running blogs ;)

  7. It's been a running joke that I tell the people that I coach "don't go out too fast, hydrate when you need to, pee when you need to." :)