I Left Some DNA on the Road Today

Okay, it was last night, and it was the sidewalk, but if you want to clone me, there's a good chunk of my DNA somewhere in Northridge right now.

Let's back up a bit.

After work I rushed home and threw on running clothes. These are new Lucy running capris that I picked up at Goodwill for $5.99. I like that they are not black. All my running pants are gray or black. I did, at one point during the run, think they were the perfect color for sharting (and, of course, thought of Shut Up And Run), but don't worry, I didn't shart.

I did look adorable.



What, brown doesn't go with black, purple, and gray? LAME.

Anyway, 10 miles. It was fine. It was all uphill for the first half. I still smelled human poop, at the exact same location. I'm not sure if I'd rather have it be the same poop that's still smelly a week later, or new poop. I ran into a nicer neighborhood, with perfect sidewalks. I ran by a Chipotle, which smelled like fish. I passed three young ladies who giggled as I ran by.

And then I tripped.

Now, this was 100% my fault. I know the sidewalks suck. I know the roads are dark. I was tired. I was dragging my feet. And then, my toe caught on uneven sidewalk, and I went down.

I managed to throw up my arm at the last minute. My left elbow took the brunt of the fall. My left knee took a slight hit, and the pad of my right thumb is bruised. I'm not sure how.

I was about a mile from home. My blood was pumping. It didn't hurt. I probably didn't even scrape any skin off.

I made it through the front door, and then BOOM, crazy pain.

First, I want to show you my awesome pit stains, because I earned them.



Okay, now, the elbow.



You can see how filthy the sidewalk was, in the perfect dirt line on my arm. I think I contracted monkey pox.




You guys, I straight up whimpered cleaning that shit in the shower. Whimpered. Worse, I straight up screamed cleaning it off with alcohol after the shower. That stuff BURNS.

And, of course, band aids don't like elbows, so I ended up wrapping my elbow in an ace bandage. I'll let it breathe and scab over tomorrow.

My right thumb is turning purple and hurts when I use it to pick things up. This doesn't bode well.

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In other news, when I got home, all I could smell was fear bleach. I knew I'd seen dozens of people on various running communities ask "why do I smell like ammonia when I run?" And I'd read the answer, but kind of ignored it. Until now!!

That smell, my friends, was my body eating protein. It means eat more carbs before you run. Which, yeah, that's a DUH. Today was a crappy eating day. I ate okay, just not well balanced. 80% of my calories were from protein (I am TOTALLY guessing you guys. I'm too lazy to track calories for more than a few weeks at a time). So my body was om nom noming on all the protein I ate.

Which was mostly beef jerky. It was one of those days.

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I didn't end up doing The Bachelor Workout last night, because my work out companions were busy, so we'll be hitting that tonight. Oh yeah. I might try to fit some workout tv yoga in there, too. Plus, it's time to hit up the waxing salon and take care of my arm pits so I can wear tank tops to the gym again. Aren't you glad I shared?

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Have you ever bit it during a run?